Forgiveness Is an Act of the Will
Readings and Virtual Homily for September 6, 2026, Twenty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time; Sophomores Slinging Hash in San Francisco; An Offer I Cannot Refuse; A Death in the Family; Partial September Schedule
Readings for Mass this Sunday:
Ezekiel 33:7-9
Psalm 95:1-2, 6-9
Romans 13:8-10
Matthew 18:15-20
Dear Friends and Family,
The pre-eminent theme of this week's readings is sin and forgiveness, the Gospel passage emphasizing the latter. I want to focus on Jesus' recommendations with regard to forgiving an offender, as they provide valuable insights that can sometimes be clouded, by a misapprehended interpretation of the whole concept of forgiveness. We will get there. But first, let's just take a quick look at each of the other Scripture passages for this Sunday.
Ezekiel tells us that we need to let the sinful man know his way is sinful, lest we be held accountable for his damnation (vs. 8). This is, of course, often easier said than done, and at all events, the attempt to persuade someone to change course might well backfire. Ezekiel assures us that if we are unsuccessful in our attempt to guide someone toward the right path, we will not be held accountable; they will be (vs. 9). This still does not make the business of offering corrective advice any easier. Myself, I am always inclined toward the recommendation attributed to St. Francis, "Preach the Gospel at all times; use words when necessary." No number of words, I think, can equal the power, the persuasive power, of setting a good example by the way we live.
Psalm 95 is largely one of praise and thanksgiving, but it touches on today's main theme when it reminds us of the rebelliousness of the Israelites in the desert (vss. 8-9).
Paul tells us in the second reading that the laws of God "are summed up in this saying, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no evil to the neighbor, hence, love is the fulfillment of the law" (vss. 9-10). Paul's advice, it seems to me, dovetails nicely with the recommendation of St. Francis. Living a genuinely loving life is our most persuasive argument in terms of trying to lead others to right paths.
In the Gospel passage, Matthew tells us that Jesus recommended a graduated approach to forgiving an offender. Discuss the matter alone with the person who has injured us, first. If that fails, discuss it again, but this time with a couple witnesses. Finally, bring in the church, if needed. If the offender continues in his sin, "then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector" (vs. 17). That is, have nothing more to do with the person.
This is important. Certain misapprehensions regarding the idea of forgiveness often come into play here. I hear it frequently in confession. "Father, I want to forgive, but I can't." What the person means is that they are still dealing with the emotions provoked by the offense.
Forgiveness is deeper than the emotions. I always tell these folks that the fact that they WANT to forgive IS forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of the will; it operates independently of the emotions. As for the emotions, they should be paid attention to. If the offense is grave enough, and especially if it is not repented of, if it is ongoing, then the offender should be treated "like a Gentile or a tax collector."
I have more experience with this than I wish I had. I know all about it. You can forgive someone and at the same time want nothing more to do with that person. You can refuse to deal with a person, refuse relationship with a person whose behavior toward you is an ongoing offense. Nothing in Jesus' teaching requires us to put up with abuse, or to remain stuck in a toxic relationship. As for the several offenders in my life whom I reference above, if I never see any of them again from now 'til the crack of doom, I am A-OK with that. That does NOT mean I have not forgiven them. It means I respect myself. It means I do not accept abusive behavior. Nor should you. You've got Jesus' own word on that, in today's Gospel.
Three of five weekdays this week I have been not on campus at Bishop O'Dowd, but on site with my students at St. Anthony's Foundation in San Francisco. As part of the service hours required for our sophomores, we put in a school day at St. Anthony's working in the dining room and the clothing store. For those unfamiliar with the St. Anthony Foundation, it casts the largest social service safety net in the city. Occupying an entire block -- both sides -- of Golden Gate Avenue, St. Anthony's is a lot more than its famous dining room. The foundation includes a hygiene hub (where folks can shower, shave, get their hair cut, do their laundry). The foundation offers a resource center (helping folks connect with social services available from agencies and organizations through the city). It includes a center specifically focused on the needs of families with underage children; it includes a medical clinic, a tech center, and counseling for re-entry to the world of work. The foundation also offers a year-long residential substance abuse rehabilitation program that is one of the most comprehensive and successful anywhere on earth.
Our sophomore immersion days include aspects of some of these other services, but for the most part, we are in the dining room and the clothes operation (both in the store itself and in the back, where many boxes and bins filled with clothing, some lightly used but much of it brand new, donated by Old Navy, Gap and so on, are sorted and readied for display on racks in the store). Chaperones divide up, some going with the group of teens who will be in the dining room, the others accompanying those who've opted for the store. I was in the dining room with my sophomores all three days this week -- it was huge for all of us.
San Francisco is, of course, one of the wealthiest cities on the planet. But it has a pocket of real poverty in the Tenderloin. Watching my teens working the line as folks came through for trays of a multi-course lunch each day; watching them as they bussed tables, fetched glasses of water, brought trays of lunch to those in wheelchairs or on walkers...watching them as they sat down to lunch among the guests, in groups of two or three, and engaged in conversations -- smiling, laughing, sharing, bringing youthful zest and joy almost like spring sunshine to their companions at table...
Well...I was simply reassured of my initial estimate of the Class of 2029. I was hugely proud of them, and I made sure they knew it. Each of my three sections will have a class period next week, unpacking the experience in terms of emotional response, in terms of Catholic social teaching, in terms of insights gained into reality itself, the reality of poverty in one of the world's richest cities. I look forward to those class sessions. My sophomores this semester are exceptional.
And oh yeah, I was also at St. Anthony's to work. I bussed tables more than anything else, but this week, after dozens of visits over the years, I got my first turn on the lunch line -- serving a tilapia chowder on Friday to the more than 1500 folks who daily dine at St. Anthony's. As I say, the week was huge, for me and for my sophomores.
Last week I mentioned that I had heard from some of my young Moroccans. One of them, Mehdi, whom we were all praying for five summers ago, as he fought a rare cancer, pitched me on coming to stay with him and his family in Tangier sometime this fall. I am taking his invitation seriously as it dovetails with a plan I had been entertaining for a while, back last spring, to finally get back to Morocco this year -- at Thanksgiving break.
The summer's events -- above all, the disaster in Venezuela -- largely dissuaded me from this plan. I both made more money than usual this summer and was given a marvelously generous chunk of change, owing to my twentieth anniversary celebrations. I had been assuming travel would be easy on my wallet, late this fall. Then, as I say, disaster struck in my beloved Caracas, and all I am going to say further on that subject is how unmistakable it seemed to me that I had the money this summer to give significantly in aid of my Venezuelans. I could not possibly have done as much without the very substantial boost in my income, owing to both a lot of extra work and the many, many gifts for my anniversary. Valuing at least a modicum of financial prudence, I canceled any plan to be out of the country in November. It was no longer going to be "easy on my wallet."
Then Mehdi called and recommended it -- especially after he heard what I had largely done with my extra money this summer. "You should have kept one third of that for yourself, Father," Mehdi said. "Jesus tells us to love others AS we love ourselves, not INSTEAD of loving ourselves."
Keep in mind that Mehdi is Muslim. (But the Muslims revere Jesus -- they just do not have our understanding.)
"Tell me this," Mehdi asked. "Can you afford a ticket to Tangier?"
Of course I can afford a ticket to Tangier. You go via London or Paris and it is quite do-able.
"Then come to Tangier for a Moroccan Thanksgiving," Mehdi said, his tone one of there-will-be-no-argument-about-this. "Come stay with us that week. I will pick you up at the airport, you will have your own room and bathroom; we will take you everywhere you want to go, and whether we eat out or in, you will not be allowed to spend one red cent. Don't argue and don't think twice, Father. Just come. It has been six years. Enough is enough. We want to see Father Jim again."
I am giving it another couple weeks' thought, but I am largely persuaded to...buy a November ticket to Tangier.
It is noon Saturday as I am getting this one wrapped. I woke this morning to a text from my LA cousin Mary that Aunt Rita, always my closest aunt, almost like an older and far-wiser sister to me, died in her sleep around five this morning at her home in Westwood; her children, my five cousins, and other family gathered round her bed. It was not unexpected; Aunt Rita had been failing most of the second half of the summer. She was ninety.
I might say more about my relationship with this unique aunt, next e-mail, but for today what I want to point out is that the schedule given above is only for this weekend, as my aunt's death guarantees changes, likely changes in the weekend Mass schedule, later this month. I will know when services are scheduled sometime this weekend. And I will send the final September schedule with the next e-mail.
I could say more but one, this is already long and two, I need to get it out. It is Saturday!
God bless you.
With love,
Fr. Brawn
Mass schedule for this weekend (all English):
Saturday 5; Sunday 8, 1115, 630
Also, 8 AM Labor Day
I will send the rest of the September schedule with the next e-mail.